Recently, all I've been hearing about (besides the election) are complaints about grades...
But do grades really define you? You constantly hear the phrase "grades don't define you"–so often to the point that it becomes white water noise. What does it really mean? In the society we live in, contrary to what it declares, grades seemingly do define you. Students believe that a grade will determine college options which will determine career paths which will determine quality of life. We are rated on a 0.0 to a 5.0 scale. We are placed somewhere between an F and an A. We are judged by the number of APs and honors we take or by our involvement in sports or our achievements in extra curricular activities. We compare numbers against the numbers of others, and really it becomes a number game. Constantly, we are graded and degraded, and still society says, "grades don't define you." But society has it all wrong. It hypocritically declares that grades don't have worth but that a "bad" grade translates to failure to achieve success. It has the wrong goals. We try to please others, instead of ourselves. Many times we even try to please strangers (employers, admissions officers, coaches, etc.) that we barely even know. Why? We want to achieve success and to gain self-worth from a cold audience we don't even know. Instead, if we hope to do our very best and climb a ladder against our "best self" versus against others, we will always meet success. If we surround ourselves with people that don't judge us but love us for who we are (our personalities, our traits, our attributes), we will find that to these people that matter most, we are not just a number. Numbers only define us from the viewpoint of outsiders that do not know us. To the people that matter most, it is our true selves that define us. True, society will not always reward simply being the best you can be, and that is something our generation should strive to fix. But if we achieve self-success, then that is better than any achievement you can get from beating someone else. As hackneyed as it is, "grades DON'T define you." sweet dreams. xoxo, s.k.j.
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When time flies... Time can feel like it drags on and on, but when we look back at our past and look toward our future, we find that time–that life, really–is actually very short. Centuries have gone by, and here we are, waiting for the next few centuries to fly by, which we can only hope to see. When we are young, we are busy growing up and busy growing old; when we are old, we are busy trying to be young and trying to be the youths we once were. We battle against time because, out of all the things granted to us by mother nature, this is one of a few that we cannot control. We cannot change time, but we can shift our perspectives. In a way, time moves only as fast as we let it. So while it is said that time flies when you're having fun (or drags when you're bored), if, whether we are having fun or being bored, we are in the moment–not in the past or future–time will move on, but our memories of that time will be more substantiated and valuable. In other words, if we shift our perspective of time and events, we shift our perspective of the tempo of time. And of course, the most obvious way we can deal with this conundrum of time is to simply enjoy it. Treasure it, value it, and, in due time, we will have a portfolio of memories to look back on, making time well worth it. sweet dreams. xoxo, s.k.j. "As the present now Will later be past The order is Rapidly fadin' And the first one now Will later be last For the times they are a-changin'. " -The Times They Are A-Chaingin', Bob Dylan The Power of You. Truth is, people are always going to let you down. And when this happens, you might not have anyone to go to because, more often than not, the people that let you down are the people in which you put your trust and your faith. So what happens then? Are you totally lost in a world you can no longer trust? You don't have to be. There is one person that too often you forget will always be with you. Yourself. If you grow a deep-rooted sense of self-confidence, you no longer need to rely on others. If you rely on your own intellect, you need not rely on others to support you. Whatever defines you is carried with you, whether it is a belief in God, a passion for art, or a love of nature. Embrace these things, be you, and never, above all, let yourself down. Yeah, you will not always get your way, and that's okay. But never, ever, give up the things you truly value—morals, passions, dreams, love. In a world full of people that will let you down, the worst thing you can do is also let yourself down. Of course, in some form or another, we rely on people to survive. Employers give us money, teachers give us a valuable education, parents give us sustenence when we cannot support ourselves. Relationships are a beautiful and powerful thing, but we must take caution when they become dangerous. This doesn't mean to sever all relationships out of the fear that you'll be let down, but to remember that when you are let down, you'll always have yourself, and, if you let it, that can be enough. So, yeah, people are gonna let you down. But you'll always have yourself—your inner strength, your perseverance. You are powerful. sweet dreams. xoxo, s.k.j. remember: The light within you shines brighter than any light you could ever receive. quote: "We are stronger than we think. We have emotional, spiritual and even physical resources at our disposal. We may get knocked down, but we don’t have to stay down.” - Steve Goodier Life is a masquerade. Life's a masquerade. We live our lives as a seemingly wonderful dance, circulating partners as the music moves along and showing our most elegant, elaborate dresses, suits, and masks. And yet, at the end of the dance, we hardly know the people we've danced with, their faces having been concealed under the glitter, pearls, and laces of their masks. At the end of the dance, no one really got to know you at all, either. Each of our lives is dictated by interacting with other people. Rarely is there a day where people—whether physical, memories, or the results of their actions—do not affect us. And through these interactions, masks become an important—if not vital—aspect of our lives. We switch these masks constantly depending on who we interact with, and yet never seem to find anyone that we feel open enough with to share our true selves. With friends, we wear the masks of "perfect," or "happy," or "content," while with our families we wear masks of being "studious," or "hardworking," or "motivated." With teachers, adversaries, strangers, or neighbors, we bear a different mask every time. We begin to hide our true selves behind the masks that keep piling up, and then we begin to forget who we are, and, in the end, we feel a sense of utter isolation, confusion, and seclusion. Yet we can change this. We first must learn to accept our true selves, flaws and all, because we are all perfectly imperfect, and thats okay. It is only when we are comfortable with ourselves that we can truly present the unmasked version of ourselves to the world. And we should remember that anyone we interact with may be struggling with breaking free from their masks as well. The stellar student, the popular cheerleader, or the handsome jock may quiver, shattered behind a beaming facade. Help another and slowly, one by one, the broken pieces of you and the other will be glued together, being stronger than ever before. And you will find yourself. sweet dreams. xoxo, s.k.j. Picture from Shel Silverstein's Every Thing On It.
The Stars: Our Dreams, Our Power “Reach for the stars,” they tell you. And so we turn our eyes to the sky, lift our chins to the unknown atmosphere above, and stretch our hands out to the unattainable. Little do we understand that stars are only flaming balls of gas with no true substance to them at all. They are millions of miles away, drifting, lost, in the solitary, purposeless void of the universe. The stars on which we base our dreams and futures on are not the magic which we deemed them–believed them–to be. Little do we understand that there are stars closer to us than even the sun. They don’t lie in our city lights, street lights, or even in the warm yellow lights which spill throughout our homes. They lie within each of us, all of us: the twinkling eyes of an awe-inspired child, the beaming smile of achievement, the glistening droplet of simple tears. Perhaps instead of reaching for the unrealistic, insubstantial stars, we should reach just as deep into ourselves as we reach far for the sky. Our dreams, our power, and our motivation are within us, if only we’d realize it. The stars within us shine brighter than any star in the sky. The universe doesn’t dictate our futures. We do. sweet dreams. xoxo, s.k.j. Quote of the week: We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" - Oscar Wilde |
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